Awful Facebook Adverts
Don’t worry, we’ll never fotget you.

Don’t worry, we’ll never fotget you.

I suppose if you’re going to have a book title as crashingly mundane as ‘The Explorer’, you may as well have a tagline to go with it. ‘In space nothing goes according to plan’ is right up there with ‘in space you can never seem to find your keys’ and ‘in space toast always lands butter-side down (accepting that you’re in an environment with artificial gravity)’.

I suppose if you’re going to have a book title as crashingly mundane as ‘The Explorer’, you may as well have a tagline to go with it. ‘In space nothing goes according to plan’ is right up there with ‘in space you can never seem to find your keys’ and ‘in space toast always lands butter-side down (accepting that you’re in an environment with artificial gravity)’.

As good as this offer is, I’m not sure I’d be able to eat both of them.

As good as this offer is, I’m not sure I’d be able to eat both of them.

Because nothing instills consumer confidence quite like Homer Simpson fraudulently using Ned Flanders’ credit card.

Because nothing instills consumer confidence quite like Homer Simpson fraudulently using Ned Flanders’ credit card.

The text says “I quit my job and now I make loads of cash” whereas the photo says “I quit my job and now my wife’s going to leave me! I’m gonna lose my kids! Dear God, I’m screwed *facepalm*”.

The text says “I quit my job and now I make loads of cash” whereas the photo says “I quit my job and now my wife’s going to leave me! I’m gonna lose my kids! Dear God, I’m screwed *facepalm*”.

realmusclepro.com will literally turn you into a giant and make you grow a beard: Fact.

realmusclepro.com will literally turn you into a giant and make you grow a beard: Fact.

Double Boris mayhem! It’s genuinely difficult to know where to begin with these. Aside from questioning the wisdom of advertising solar panels with the aid of any member of the decidedly eco-unfriendly Conservative Party, just what could anyone hope to sell using an image of Boris Johnson? I’m not even sure that you could successfully use Boris’ face to successfully market photographs of Boris’ face. Unless of course the inference here is that the solar panels have been installed in the London Mayor himself. Mind you, that seems unlikely - if Boris was a building he’d have to be a Grade II listed thatched cottage and the installation of solar panels would not be a sympathetic addition to such a structure.

This is very much the platonic ideal of a Facebook ad - an outlandish claim in the text backed up by a piss-poor photo. Classic!

This is very much the platonic ideal of a Facebook ad - an outlandish claim in the text backed up by a piss-poor photo. Classic!

Is author next Lovecraft? Why advert written with no use of definite article? Was advert written by Hulk? Such grammatical considerations aside, I’m sure that every author dreams of being the next Lovecraft because after all, who wouldn’t want to die of malnutrition in penniless obscurity?
There are two things I really like about this advert: the fact that it literally judges a book by its cover by providing a description of aforementioned cover and also it suggests that the book is mostly about a vandalised sign.

Is author next Lovecraft? Why advert written with no use of definite article? Was advert written by Hulk? Such grammatical considerations aside, I’m sure that every author dreams of being the next Lovecraft because after all, who wouldn’t want to die of malnutrition in penniless obscurity?
There are two things I really like about this advert: the fact that it literally judges a book by its cover by providing a description of aforementioned cover and also it suggests that the book is mostly about a vandalised sign.

Here’s the thing about most would-be coders: They’re impressed by modern technology but they’re not impressed by being stereotyped as geeks cultivating unusual facial hair in their parents’ basement. Double fail.

Here’s the thing about most would-be coders: They’re impressed by modern technology but they’re not impressed by being stereotyped as geeks cultivating unusual facial hair in their parents’ basement. Double fail.